what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
