Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
