Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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