I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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