I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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