yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize