how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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