First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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