Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
