I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
