Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
