Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
