i already hear my dad disowning me
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
