i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
