Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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