I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
