a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
