he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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