we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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