hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
