i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
