you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
