You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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