last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
