happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
third nipple confirmed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
