Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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