i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
