real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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