I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Randomize
