one might say we're banned from that church
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
