He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
