well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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