the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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