so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
