can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
