I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
