I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
