Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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