No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is Oprah even human
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
