I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
honey bunches of taint.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
