yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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