Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
