i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
