Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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