I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
