that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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