"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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