My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
