M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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