I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
