Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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