But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
