His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
