yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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