Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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