Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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