Your dad touched me again.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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