did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
