I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
