you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
