I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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