he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
