k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
