brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
