oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
