i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
