Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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