If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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