Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
