I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
