it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
