took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
